Posted in: Other - Short Stories
Date: February 26, 2010
Harold loved beans. He loved the smooth, rich taste of lardy beans the best. He would open the can and mix in lots of lard and eat it by the spoonful. But even when the beans didn't have lard, he still loved them.
Harold rarely cooked. No, instead he would open a can of beans and gobble it up like a dog. No need for a stove or microwave - the only tool that Harold needed was a can opener.
Harold was perfectly adapted for his beany diet. Over the centuries, his family lines had developed the perfect genetics to handle a bean-only diet. No gas, no upset stomach. It was wonderful, and it suited Harold just fine.
One day, Harold was invited over the Johnsons who lived across the street. Harold was a bit scared to go over, because he wasn't sure if the Johnsons were a beany sort of family. What if they cooked some food that he didn't like? What if they didn't have any beans?
When Harold got there, he could smell the aroma of steak and burgers wafting from the back yard. Harold scowled. There had better be beans along with those steaks.
When Harold got inside, he looked around and saw that the table had lots of food on it. Buns, salad, lots of condiments, but no beans. Damn!
From that day on, Harold hated the Johnsons. What sort of stupid family would have no beans?
THE END
Other Posts You Might Like
