Posted in: Other
Date: November 07, 2009
Throughout the ages, many men have sought out the golden scepter of all manliness: an Epic Beard. In the past, the journey to an Epic Beard was quite easy. Many men traveled the path and arrived at their destinations. Nowadays, that is not the case. The path has become difficult and filled with many obstacles. If a man is to succeed in growing an Epic Beard, he must be aware of these obstacles.
I am a guide to the golden scepter. I know about the dangers of the path, and if you listen to my wise words, you will succeed in growing an Epic Beard!
Yes, you my friend are an obstacles to growing an Epic Beard. Initially, you will be excited about growing your beard. You will tell your friends about it, and you will dream of the day that you have long hair that droops from your face. But be careful! As time goes on, excitement will be replaced with indifference. Your beard will become itchy and trap food in its gnarly locks. Not only that, but when you blow your nose, your beard will cling tightly to the snot. These and other inconveniences will be a hindrance to your beard growing journey. If you are to grow an Epic Beard, you must strive and struggle through these trials and tribulations.
As your beard grows longer and more burly, society will increasingly look upon you with disgust. It will view you as a slob. People will look at you like a freak and think you are a crazy mountain man. If you are looking for a job, very often you will be passed over as unqualified and incompetent. Despite all this, do not give up! An Epic Beard is worth all this persecution and more!
Along with yourself and society there are other unique obstacles that you will face. For some men the obstacle is their wife or girlfriend. For others it their boss. Whatever your case, just remember that there is nothing more important than reaching the golden scepter. When your wife has left you and you have no job, be comforted in the knowledge that you are a man! You have an Epic Beard! Wrap yourself in your beard's embrace and be joyful!
Go in peace.